She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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