Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaĆt comercial?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridgeš¤
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
