just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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