remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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