Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
