ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
