lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
