He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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