So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
