So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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