Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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