Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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