please come you make the beer taste better
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
