You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
