are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
