My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
