There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
