I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
