do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
