thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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