her vagine was all disorganized.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
