what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
