And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
