new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
