David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
