I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
