worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize