But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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