dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
