So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
