She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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