There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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