Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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