I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
