I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
