My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think i have two assholes
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize