yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
