I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
