i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
