i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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