Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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