Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize