i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
