She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
