i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
