i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
