You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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