I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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