My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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