told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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