So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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