i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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