I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
