The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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