There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
