I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
