she woke up with a sticky ear
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
