youre lurking in front of me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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